Avenue N
by Animediva943
Summary: Uchiha Sasuke moves to a new neighborhood where he learns about real life, or something like it. there he meets some new, interesting neighbors. SONGFIC. AU. RATED M FOR LATER CHAPTERS.
1. It sucks to be me

Hello everyone it's me Animediva943 with a brand new story. I was watching avenue q on youtube and then the inspiration for this story came. Also this will be an AU. I put it in the naruto section because I thought it was more fitting. Anyway enjoy the story.

I don't own Naruto, Avenue Q, or the songs.

Input song: it sucks to be me.

The cast will resemble the following from avenue Q

Sasuke=Princeton

Naruto=bryan

Sakura=kate monster

Shikamaru=rod

Choji=nicky

Ten-ten=Christmas Eve

Rock lee=trekkie monster

Kakashi=Gary Coleman

Ino=Lucy the slut

Kiba, Iruka and Jiraya=the bad Idea bears

Shino=Ricky.

A/N: I had to watch avenue Q before writing this fic. If I get anything wrong I'm sorry. Plus I made Sakura and Rock lee demons because in avenue q, Kate and Trekkie were monsters and I want it to be an accurate spoof of that play.

Avenue N

Chapter 1

It sucks to be me

On a bus ride to a New city, Sasuke Uchiha was looking at all of his belongings, his photos and most importantly his college degree in bio chemistry. He had so much potential, so many accomplishments and all the talent in the world. However that talent and those gifts were going to waste in his old neighborhood. He would try to find himself a job but it wouldn't go through. He got evicted from his house because he struggled to pay his bills after being laid off. He remembered it just like it was yesterday.

Flashback-three months ago

", can you come in here for a moment?" Hinata asked. She was the head of Hyuga corp. one of the most famous companies in the whole city. She always seemed to be very shy and demure. It was that time of year again, some people were about to get laid off or fired. Unfortunately for him, Sasuke was on the list. He was hoping that maybe he wouldn't get laid off now, but that wouldn't be the case.

"As you know, we are making cuts again this year, and you were on the list to be laid off." She explained.

"I know," he replied, standing in front of her nervous as ever. He had been working in that company for ten years, ever since he graduated college. And now it was possible that he would lose his job of ten years.

"Mr. Uchiha, you have always been one of my best interns and I have always been grateful that you were here. You have made a great chemist but I cannot afford to pay you anymore." Then the bad news dropped like a bomb.

"Forgive me Sasuke, but I have to let you go."

End flashback.

While on the bus to his new neighborhood, he stared hard at his diploma, wondering if he really earned it. If it actually meant something.

"I spend for years in college trying to earn you and yet I still don't have a job. I have to find a new, cheaper neighborhood to live in all because you didn't hold up to your worth." It was ironic; the career he lost was the same career that caused him to lose his fiancée. Sure he cared about his work, but it seemed like he loved his job more than her and that is what drove her away.

Flashback eight months ago

"Dammit Sasuke!" a blond girl with four ponytails screamed. "You're always at your office you're never home for me or my daughter!"

Sasuke knew that he had to provide a home for them. At the time he had just been promoted to head secretary and since then, he was spending extra hours at the office and had hardly time for her or his future stepdaughter.

"I'm sorry Temari." He said. "It's just that my boss has been shoving paperwork up my ass since she gave me that promotion."

"So what?!" Temari shouted. Her rage was overflowing the entire house. Every day she and Sasuke would get into these fights and she would always complain about how he was never there for her, how she always had to care for her daughter. The raven haired man talked a lot about adopting her, but couldn't exactly hold up to his promises. Whether it was taking her to the movies or even picking her up at school, he just couldn't pick her up on time because of his new promotion.

"YOU NEED TO OWN TO YOUR GOD DAMN RESPONSIBILITIES!" the blond single mom screamed again.

"I told you already!" he yelled back. "I can't do everything because I have to work. I have to put a roof over your head and food on the table!"

"Do you see this sasuke?" Temari asked. Holding a peace of paper to his face. Said paper read.

**NOTICE OF EVICTION**

**TENANTS MUST PAY $3,937 WITHIN 30 DAYS OR LEAVE THE APARTMENT.**

"This is"

"A FUCKING EVICTION NOTICE!" She interrupted. She had just about had it with all the drama and was not about to let herself or her child have to sleep on the street. She grabbed everything that the raven haired chemist owned and tossed it to him violently then she threw the engagement ring at him, almost hitting his eye.

"I'm done with your bullshit, Sasuke. Now get the fuck out of my house, NOW!" Temari demanded.

"wait, honey don't do this…" he pleaded.

"OUT!" the blond woman shouted again. This time pushing him out the door.

End flashback.

* * *

Meanwhile in a neighborhood known as Avenue N. Naruto Uzumaki was heading out to find a new job. Like Sasuke, he recently got laid off and was struggling to pay the bills.

On his way to his first job hunt he ran into his childhood friend, a demon girl named Sakura Haruno.

**SONG STARTS HERE!**

"Morning Naruto." She greeted.

"Hi, Sakura." He responded.

"How's life?" the pink haired demon asked.

"Disappointing." He answered.

SAKURA  
What's the matter?

NARUTO  
The caterine company  
laid me off.

SAKURA  
Oh, I'm sorry!

NARUTO  
Me too! I mean, look at me!  
I'm ten years out of college, and I  
always thought -

SAKURA  
What?

NARUTO

No, it sounds stupid.

SAKURA  
Aww, come on!

NARUTO  
When I was little  
I thought I would be...

SAKURA  
What?

NARUTO  
A big comedian  
on late night TV  
But now I'm thirty-two  
And as you can see  
I'm not

SAKURA  
Nope!

NARUTO  
Oh Well,  
It sucks to be me.

SAKURA  
Nooo.

NARUTO  
It sucks to be me.

SAKURA  
No!

NARUTO  
It sucks to be broke  
and unemployed  
and turning thirty-three.  
It sucks to be me.

SAKURA  
Oh, you think your life sucks?

NARUTO  
I think so.

SAKURA  
Your problems aren't so bad!  
I'm kinda pretty  
And pretty damn smart.

NARUTO  
You are.

SAKURA  
Thanks!  
I like romantic things  
Like music and art.  
And as you know  
I have a gigantic heart  
So why don't I have  
A boyfriend?  
Fuck!  
It sucks to be me!

NARUTO  
Me too.

SAKURA  
It sucks to be me.

NARUTO  
It sucks to be me.  
It sucks to be naurto

SAKURA  
And sakura

NARUTO  
To not have a job!

KATE MONSTER  
To not have a date!

BOTH  
It sucks to be me.

* * *

While complaining about how much their lives were supposedly rotten, they saw their friends Shikamaru and Choji arguing. They were roommates for a long time and as roommates they always got on each others nerves about something. They were yelling so loud and talking over each other so much that Naruto and Sakura couldn't tell what they were fighting about.

NARUTO  
Hey, Shikamaru, Choji can you  
settle something for us?  
Do you have a second?

SHIKAMARU  
Ah, certainly.

SAKURA  
Whose life sucks more?  
Brian's or mine?

CHOJI AND SHIKAMARU  
Ours!

SHIKAMARU  
We live together.

CHOJI  
We're as close  
As people can get.

SHIKAMARU  
We've been the best  
of buddies...

CHOJI  
Ever since the  
Day we met.

SHIKAMARU  
So he knows lots  
Of ways to make me  
Really upset.  
Oh, every day is  
An aggravation.

CHOJI  
Come on, that's  
an exaggeration!

SHIKAMARU  
You leave your  
clothes out.  
You put your feet  
On my chair.

CHOJI  
Oh yeah?  
You do such anal  
Things like ironing  
Your underwear.

SHIKAMARU  
You make that very  
Small apartment  
We share a hell.

CHOJI  
So do you,  
That's why I'm in hell too!

SHIKAMARU  
It sucks to be me!

CHOJI  
No, it sucks to be me!

SAKURA  
It sucks to be me!

NARUTO  
It sucks to be me!

ALL  
Is there anybody here  
It doesn't suck to be?  
It sucks to be me!

* * *

While walking around the city singing about how much they believed their lives sucked. They ran into Naruto's fiancée who was just getting off of work. Ten-ten.

TEN-TEN  
Why you all so happy?

CHOJI  
Becuase our lives suck!

TEN-TEN  
Your lives suck?  
I hearing you correctly? Ha!  
I coming to this country  
For opportunities.  
Tried to work in  
Korean deli  
But I am Japanese.  
But with hard work  
I earn two Master's Degrees  
In social work!  
And now I a therapist!  
But I have no clients  
And I have an  
Unemployed fiance'!  
And we have lots  
Of bills to pay!  
It suck to be me!  
It suck to be me!  
I say it  
Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-  
Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-  
Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-  
Suck!  
It suck to be me!

* * *

Sasuke finally gets off of the bus and sees his potential new friends. He had just found an apartment building that he believed he could afford. And he needed help to get to the superintendents office.

"Excuse me." He interrupted.

"hey there!" Naruto greeted.

"can someone help me please, I'm looking for a place to live."

"Why are looking all the way out here?" ten ten asked.

"I just moved here from avenue C. I tried avenue K but the rent was out of my price range. And this neighborhood seemed a little cheaper." Sasuke answered.

Then Naruto and the others led the new man in town to superintendent Kakashi's office. The raven haired man seemed a bit star struck when he saw Kakashi's face.

NARUTO  
Yo, Gary!

KAKASHI  
I'm comin'! I'm comin'!

SASUKE  
Oh my God!  
It's Kakashi Hatake!

GARY COLEMAN  
Yes I am!  
I'm Gary Coleman  
From TV's  
Diff'rent Strokes  
I made a lotta money  
That got stolen  
By my folks!  
Now I'm broke and  
I'm the butt  
Of everyone's jokes,  
But I'm here -  
The Superintendent!  
On Avenue Q -

ALL  
It sucks to be you.

KATE MONSTER  
You win!

ALL  
It sucks to be you.

BRIAN  
I feel better now!

GARY COLEMAN  
Try having people  
stopping you to ask you  
"What you talkin' 'bout, Willis?"  
It gets old.

ALL  
It sucks to be you  
On Avenue Q  
(Sucks to be me)  
On Avenue Q  
(Sucks to be you)  
On Avenue Q  
(Sucks to be us)  
But not when  
We're together.  
We're together  
Here on Avenue Q!  
We live on Avenue Q!  
Our friends do too!  
'Til our dreams  
Come true,  
We live on Avenue Q!

PRINCETON  
This is real life!

ALL  
We live on Avenue Q!

NICKY  
You're gonna love it!

ALL  
We live on Avenue Q!

GARY COLEMAN  
Here's your keys!

ALL  
Welcome to Avenue Q!

meanwhile sasuke was in his new apartment making himself at home.

"Avenue N huh?" he said to himself. "well, let's see what happens.


	2. Purpose

Here comes chapter 2 of avenue N. I know that it has been over a month since I updated for this story but that is only because time management is my biggest weakness. I managed to squeeze this chapter in though. Enjoy.

Chapter 2

Purpose

After being settled in his new neighborhood, Sasuke seemed to be very comfortable there. Unlike his old place where he had a girlfriend and her daughter to take care of and very little time to himself, in avenue N, he actually managed to get a job interview and is awaiting his call from his new boss. His dream of being a chemist would have to be put on hold at the time.

Also in the neighborhood was Naruto. His interview went okay, too. And he and sasuke would be working together a new catering company. Since they have met Naruto and sasuke have been good friends. And after the interviews were over they went to a nearby coffee shop to talk about the possibility of both of them getting employed. Also they wanted to get to know each other.

"So where did you live before you came here?" the blond asked.

"I used to live in the leaf village along with my fiancé and her daughter." Sasuke answered.

Naruto's eyes widened. But he wasn't at all surprised to hear that his new neighbor was engaged. After all, he seemed to have the whole package, looks, brains, and at one point a good job.

"I'm surprised she let you come all the way out here!" he said jokingly. "I mean look at you! Man If I swung that way, you would be the first man I'd talk to at a club. I bet the girls are all over you."

"Actually, I don't think she will care that much." The Uchiha said. He was a little embarrassed about his friend's comment.

"I see, you have an open relationship. That's cool too." Naruto said.

As much as he didn't want to bring up all of his old baggage from the leaf village, he figured that his new friend had to know at least some of the deatails of what happened about one year before he moved to this new place.

"We're not together anymore." He said bluntly.

Just then the blond man was grasping his neck and out came some coffee from his mouth. After he caught his breath he began questioning everything.

"Alright, what happened?" He asked.

The raven haired man tried to keep all of his composure while explaining his situation.

"She thought that I loved my job more than her and kicked me out."

"Oh," naruto said. And they continued to drink cup after cup of Mocha. They talked about every thing and nothing at the same time. From brands of cereal to their potential jobs, nothing was off limits to these new friends.

Finally it was time for Sasuke to head home. But not before settling some business.

"Hey, Naruto." He called. "Do you want to come over for dinner?"

He couldn't believe it. A new neighbor asked him over for dinner. Naruto was never invited anywhere before and this seemed like it came once in a life time. Naruto appeared to be very shocked by what he was asked. Almost as if he was told that he was the king of atlantis.

"Sure, I'll be over at seven!" he answered and then skipped away happily.

* * *

After that, Sasuke was on his way home when he found a penny laying on the floor. Usually when he would see pennies on the ground he would just leave them there. But something seemed different. He had no job, no money and he was just starting over. His selfish and ungrateful days were over now and it was time for him to appreciate the smaller things in life. So he picked the penny up and then began to wonder about his own existence. He knew that these days a penny was worth hardly anything. Was he the same as that penny?

* * *

SASUKE:  
PURPOSE,  
IT'S THAT LITTLE FLAME  
THAT LIGHTS A FIRE  
UNDER YOUR ASS.  
PURPOSE,  
IT KEEPS YOU GOING STRONG  
LIKE A CAR WITH A FULL  
TANK OF GAS.  
EVERYONE ELSE HAS  
A PURPOSE  
SO WHAT'S MINE?  
Oh, look! Here's a penny!  
It's from the year I was born!  
IT'S A SIGN!  
BA-BA-BA-BA  
DOO-DOO-DOO-DOO-DOO  
I DON'T KNOW HOW I KNOW,  
BUT I'M GONNA FIND  
MY PURPOSE.  
I DON'T KNOW WHERE  
I'M GONNA LOOK,  
BUT I'M GONNA FIND  
MY PURPOSE.  
GOTTA FIND OUT,  
DON'T WANNA WAIT!  
GOT TO MAKE SURE THAT MY  
LIFE WILL BE GREAT!  
GOTTA FIND MY PURPOSE  
BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE

The raven haired man looked over to see some moving boxes and other people walking by, listening to him sing. At first he was embarrassed but that soon went away when they joined him in the tunes.

MOVING BOXES AND OTHERS  
HE'S GONNA FIND HIS PURPOSE

SASUKE  
I'M GONNA FIND MY PURPOSE

MOVING BOXES AND OTHERS  
HE'S GONNA FIND HIS PURPOSE

MOVING BOXES AND OTHERS(Overlapping)  
MAYBE MORE...  
AT A JOB, OR SMOKING GRASS  
POTTERY CLASS  
WOULD BE COOL...  
YES IT COULD!  
SOMETHING GOOD!  
YOU'RE GONNA FIND  
YOUR PURPOSE...  
GOTTA FIND YOUR PURPOSE...  
PURPOSE IS A MYSTERY.  
GOTTA FIND IT!  
YOU'RE GONNA FIND  
YOUR PURPOSE  
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA...  
YOU'RE GONNA FIND.  
YOUR PURPOSE  
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA...

Soon, Sasuke and the other bystanders would be walking down the street singing that song. The song would end with him heading home to wait for a phone call from the new catering company.

PRINCETON (Overlapping)  
I'M GONNA FIND MY PURPOSE  
COULD BE FAR, COULD BE NEAR  
COULD TAKE A WEEK,  
A MONTH, A YEAR  
AT A JOB, OR SMOKING GRASS  
MAYBE AT A POTTERY CLASS!  
COULD IT BE?  
YES IT COULD!  
SOMETHING'S COMING,  
SOMETHING GOOD!  
I'M GONNA FIND MY PURPOSE  
I'M GONNA FIND MY PURPOSE  
I'M GONNA FIND IT.  
WHAT WILL IT BE? WHERE WILL FT BE?  
MY PURPOSE IN LIFE IS A MYSTERY  
GOTTA FIND MY PURPOSE  
GOTTA FIND ME.  
I'M GONNA FIND MY PURPOSE!  
PURPOSE PURPOSE PURPOSE!  
YEAH YEAH!  
GOTTA FIND ME.

* * *

When naruto arrived, the old conversations about nothing seemed to start up again but shortly after that their talk got serious.

"I just got a call from the catering company; the boss said that right now there are no more spots left. So it looks like neither of us will have jobs." Naruto said.

"god dammit!" Saskuke shouted. He couldn't believe that the jobs they worked so hard to get are now out of reach. How would they support themselves now?

* * *

Three days passed since the dinner and he did not receive one single phone call from them. The same thing appeared to happen to Naruto as well. An hour passed the phone did not ring. Another hour went by with the same results. Finally the phone rang and sasuke ran to pick it up. It was naruto.

"hello." He said.

"Buddy, you won't believe this!" he shouted.

"Won't believe what?" The uchiha asked grimly.

"The boss called, and he told me to tell you that we got the jobs! We start at noon, so you better hurry up!" he shouted again and then Sasuke heard a click.

He hung up the phone on his end and began to get dressed. It seemed like he was finding his purpose after all.

Alright, chapter 2 over. Sorry about the long wait. I was just very very busy this summer. After august 6, you will see a huge wave of updates from me. Chapter 3 should be up when I can put it up. Bye- bye


	3. I'm Not wearing underwear today

Here is chapter 3. The song for this one will be "I'm not wearing underwear today."

Chapter 3

I'm not wearing underwear today

Nearly two days passed since Sasuke and Naruto they found out they had a job. There was only one thing; neither of them knew where they were going to work. Finally it was time for them to go to the office and find out what they would be doing for the next…well, until they have to retire or end up getting fired. Avenue N may have been a cheaper neighborhood but the economy around the city was all the same; Crappy like a toilet water in the sewer. The residents could hardly afford to buy a carton of milk, let alone live in a luxury hotel. While on the way to the Employment help office, the men run into Sakura Haruno, A demon who lived in the area after transporting to earth from another dimension.

"Hi there, Sakura!" Naruto greeted. They saw her skipping across the street in a happy go lucky mood. She had the same expression on her face when she approached her neighbors with the news.

"I just passed my final educator's exam and now starting tomorrow I'm going to be a teacher!" she shouted with excitement. Ever since she was young, Sakura always wanted to be a teacher, she was very gifted intellectually. Always getting high marks in college, she also had a soft heart for children. She would sometimes lose her temper if Naruto acted silly and when she wants something she always goes for it and goes hard and sometimes it will fall flat. But she never gave up.

"That's great!" Naruto shouted. "But won't some of the kids make fun of you for being a demon?"

Sakura then threw her hands on her hips. She knew that there was a lot of discrimination against demons, especially outside of Avenue N. in fact, in most of those areas there is a great deal of segregation between humans and demons. The new mayoral campaign is supposed to pass an act ending the segregation between the two species. But the pink haired teacher-to-be was proud to be a demon and nothing would change that.

"It won't bother me." She said. "After all, I was born this way so it's not like I can get a species change."

"Actually you can." Naruto added. "the same way all these homo's get sex changes."

"Not everyone who gets a sex change is gay, Naruto." Sasuke said jumping in the conversation. "But then again, it beats plastic surgery."

"Plastic surgery is overrated." Sakura said. "It might make some people look better but at the same time it can be disastrous! HAVE YOU SEEN JANICE DICKISON?!"

Naruto and Sasuke gagged. "Disgusting!" they exclaimed.

"Anyway I have to get to work on my first lesson plan. See you later!" she shouted. Then she skipped all the way home. While walking ahead, the blond man noticed that his new co-worker was stuck in the concrete and appeared to be spaced out.

"HEY SASUKE!" He shouted across the street. But the other man did not respond.

"COME ON WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE!" he shouted again. Then this time it looked like Sasuke heard him and ran ahead. Once he caught up to his friend, he was grilled by the blond man.

"I see you like what you see." He taunted.

"What are you talking about?" the Uchiha asked.

"I saw the way you were looking at Sakura." Naruto said. Then after that sasuke's face turned beet red. He couldn't believe that the man would go that far. But it was to be expected.

"She wouldn't want someone like me." He said with a sad look.

"Aw come on, I'm sure she'll like you. Just give it a shot." Naruto encouraged. The other man on the other hand wasn't so sure. After all, in the past his luck with women wasn't the best, especially after what happened with Temari. A repeat performance was the last thing that he needed while he was starting over.

* * *

Then as they finally reached the office they were greeted by their boss. Their said boss seemed to have a dark attitude and was very soft spoken but was frightening at the same time.

"Alright, the first thing you two will be doing is embalming these people." He said.

Suddenly the men were overcome with fear. Embalming, what kind of office did they stepped in to.

"My name is gaara and I am the manager of this funeral home." He said bluntly,

"FUNERAL HOME?!" They shouted. It seemed like they were in for a rude awakening. The men spent long hours in that funeral home embalming dead bodies and pretty much examining them and basically looking at dead people. It was the first time that either of them have had to look at the dearly departed for more than two minutes. When it was all over, Sasuke and Naruto walked home and the Panic stricken blond man was ready to find somewhere else to work.

"God dammit, I can't believe that we have to be around all these dead people!" He ranted. "And that Gaara guy looks like the walking dead. after I get my first check, I'm out! You can stay if you want but I want no part of this horror!"

"So You're going to go home to Ten-Ten and explain to her that you're going to quit the first job you have had in... how long now?"

* * *

Suddenly Naruto began to think about the consequences of going home to his fiance and her finding out that he is planning to quit after only one day.

_

* * *

_

senario

_"honey, I'm home!" he shouted through the house. ten ten comes out of the kitchen, turns her head to the clock and sees that it is only 2:00. she began to get very suspicious._

_"why are you home so early?" she asked._

_Naruto tried as he might to think of a lie, but then remembered that he was terrible at telling lies. any lie he told was immediately discovered by someone. He decided that he would just come out with it._

_"I uhh... quit my job, Tenten." he confessed. He then saw the look on his girlfriends face. Her eyes began to narrow and she clenced her fist. The beautiful bride to be stepped toward him in what appeared to be a fit of rage._

_"You WHAT!" She exclaimed. At that point it was impossible for him to defend quitting his job. Young tenten was used to him being fired but quitting? that was lower than low in her book. Naruto knew that the only thing he could do was either run or face the wrath of a scourned woman._

_End scenario._

* * *

The blonds face grew stiff from the thought. he might have hated being at the morge for a living but anything was better than disappointing the woman he loved.

"You're right. I better stick with it." And then the friends went their seperate ways and disappeared into the night.

* * *

Later that night Sakura was on the balconly writing her lesson plan. She was struggling to come up with a good lesson plan that kids would listen to. She usually planned ahead for her jobs and any events that she went to but in this case, she was dealing with teaching about twenty children many from other parts of the city; Parts that blatantly discriminate against her kind. She spent most of the night crumpling papers and starting new lessons. it took a long time but she finally found what she would teach to the children.

"I'm going to teach about equality amonst-"

"Porn!" a voice interrupted. Sakura looked up and saw that it was her neighbor, Rock lee. Like Sakura, Lee was also a demon. He loved looking at adult films, in fact he was mad for porn.

"Knock it off, Lee." she demanded.

"oh, sorry." he said then he went back inside.

* * *

The next day, Naruto was getting dressed for work when he began to remember the funniest thing that happened while he worked for the catering company. Well he was laid off but still.

_

* * *

_

flashback, two months ago

_Naruto was getting dressed when he just started staring at a pair of boxers. after staring at them he held them up and then threw them back down. after that he continued to get dressed and sang all the way down stairs._

Naruto:  
I'm not wearing underwear today,  
No im not wearing underwear today  
Not that you probably care  
Much about my underwear  
Still none the less i gotta say  
That im not wearing underwear today

Tenten: Getta Job!

Naruto: Thank you..hunnie?

End flashback.

* * *

Just as he did then, he did it now. the blond man tossed his underwear aside and continued to get dressed. he would do this every two months, almost like a ritual.

Naruto:  
I'm not wearing underwear today,  
No im not wearing underwear today  
Not that you probably care  
Much about my underwear  
Still none the less i gotta say  
That im not wearing underwear today

Tenten: Getta Job!

Naruto: Thank you..hunnie?

With that, waited for the bus and took it to work. Business has never been deader.

well, that's it for this chapter, chapter 4 should be up next week. well, review and see you later.


	4. The internet is for porn

* * *

Here is chapter 4 of avenue N. the song for this chapter is "the internet is for Porn." Enjoy.

I don't own Naruto or Avenue Q. this is purely fan made.

Chapter 4

The Internet is for Porn.

Two weeks passed since Sasuke and Naruto got their jobs as morticians. They seemed to get comfortable being around a bunch of dead people. They got used to preserving the bodies and using embalming fluid to keep them from rotting and stinking up the morgue. They have gotten closer and closer to each other since the uchiha moved in. and it was apparent that Sasuke was in to Sakura. Everyone could see that; especially Naruto. At times he would tease his raven haired friend about the crush he had on her. This often irritated the newcomer.

"Knock it off, Naruto!" he said one day while they were on their lunch break.

"I won't cut it out!" Naruto said. He then put his chopsticks down and pointed to his crushing Co-worker. "Not until you ask Sakura out. Do you know how many times I have tried to get a date with her? You don't know how lucky you are that she's single. That woman is one hell of a catch."

Sasuke couldn't help but notice the tone of his blond friend's voice when he talked about Sakura. He began to suspect that at some point Naruto was in love with her. But somehow ended up with ten-ten. He then began to question him about his relationship with her.

"The way you talk about her it sound's like you were in love with her at some point or another." He said. Then he saw Naruto's face turn bright red. It looked like the Uchiha had hit a nerve when he mentioned that.

"Yeah, back in college I did have a thing for her but never really got around to telling her. Sometimes I wish I could have confessed my feelings but then just when I was getting ready to, she ends up falling for that dumb wannabe, Kiba. And then about less than a month later he dumps her. Dumb ass." He looked behind him saw that his fiancé was standing right behind him and it looked like she heard everything about Sakura. Ten-ten was always the jealous type especially when it came to other women around her men. But in this case it was Sakura and they had known each other since high school. He began to suspect that her lover was still in love with her.

"If you love Sakura so damn much you should just marry her!" she said angrily. Naruto then threw his hands up and tried to clam the woman down.

"No, of course not. I mean she's my friend and all but she will never take your place. Uhh…speaking of Sakura tomorrow's her birthday, we should throw her a party." Naruto said. Ten-ten then gave him a suspicious look. It wasn't super suspicious but it was enough to say that she was watching him. Then the blond man dropped the bomb on her right in front of his co-worker.

"I'd never take another man's girl, Just ask Sasuke." The Uchiha was completely shocked to hear that his own friend would blow his secret to anyone else. Even if it was his fiancé it was still a secret that shouldn't have been told to anyone. Sasuke violently shook his friend and yelled at him, His voice going off key with every passing second.

"God dammit, Naruto why the hell did you have to go and say that for, huh? I don't go around telling your business to other people so why in god's name are _you_ doing it huh? How could you man, I thought we were friends!"

"Relax, will ya?" The blond said. "It's just Ten-ten. She'll never tell anyone about your crush. Even though it's not all _that _secret now."

"I guess." Sasuke said. Then after those escapades, Ten-ten went back to her job. The men's lunch break ended and they had to go back to their dead as ever job. Many people talked about having "dead end" jobs but working in a funeral home was taking that phrase to an entirely new level, well the dead part anyway.

* * *

~Later that Night~

Sasuke was on the new computer that Shikamaru gave him for Christmas. He thought and he thought and he thought but just couldn't find a gift for Sakura. He wanted something that could please her but nothing too fancy that he wouldn't be able to afford. After all, he wasn't made of money. He surfed the web for nearly the entire night before he finally came up with a gift. That was when went on Microsoft word and typed an online birthday card for her. "I guess she'll like it." He said to himself. "It's not much but it should be good present for her.

* * *

~The next day~

The entire Neighborhood of Avenue N got together for Sakura's birthday. Many of them took a day off of work or at least tried to get off early enough to be at her party. Pretty much all of her old and new friends were there. Shikamaru, Choji, ten-ten, Naruto, Kakashi even Sasuke decided to come out of his apartment and be at the party.

Everything was there, balloons, cake, presents, everything that anyone would need to have a decent birthday party. It was time for them to exchange gifts with her.

"Here, Sakura." Choji said. "From me to you." The pink haired demon opened the present and saw that it was a day old kebab. She held it up and looked away in disgust. She may have been a demon but she was not a lover of meat. In fact, Sakura was one of the few demons who were vegetarians.

"Choji, what kind of gift is that!" Shikamaru shouted.

"What?" Choji said defensively.

"I guess it's the thought that counts." Sakura said. "But seriously, Choji, what the fuck was you thinking?"

"Uhh…I was hungry." Choji said. Then Sakura went to ten-ten and opened her gift. It was a nice little cookbook.

"Aw, thank you, Ten-ten." She said. "I always wanted to learn how to cook." Then she went and hugged her friend from high school. Next she opened Shikamaru's gift.

"Here you go birthday girl." He said handing her the box. She slowly opened it up and saw that it was an encyclopedia on clouds. She had a confused look.

"I thought maybe you'd like to teach your kids about clouds." He explained.

"Umm… yeah, thanks." She said. After that she opened Kakashi's gift to her. Knowing him it would probably be something weird and perverted. It was his old tool belt. Once again Sakura was confused about the gift she received. But then she moved on to Rock Lee's gift. She wasn't sure what to expect from her fellow demon. Then she picked up what appeared to be a videotape that read: **BIG GUNS AND TIGHT HOLES 12. **it was a pornographic movie. The pink haired woman threw the tape down in utter disgust. She couldn't believe that he would give her such a perverted thing. And to make things weirder, there was something else in the box, a sex toy. She chucked the dildo at her neighbor's forehead.

"OW!" he screamed. Then Sakura opened Naruto's present. This gift was one of the more normal presents.

"Here, Sakura." He said. "Happy birthday."

She opened it and saw that it was an autograph book of the college they went to. It was filled with all the good and bad moments they shared. Sakura smiled at the book and gave Naruto a gentle hug.

"Thanks, Naruto." She said. Then she turned to Sasuke, who didn't really have a boxed gift. Just a printed out paper of the birthday card he sent her. He handed her the piece of paper and responded.

"I sn't sure if you got it last night so I uhh… printed it out and wanted to give it to you today."

Sakura read the paper and smiled once again. Then the party continued. Everyone there shared a lot of laughs about the gifts. They ate the cake and played some adult party games.

* * *

~That evening~

The pink haired demon was working on her next lesson plan. Usually it takes her almost the whole night but tonight it was different. She knew exactly what she was going to teach.

"I'm going to teach something relevant something modern, the internet!" she said. Then she started on her plan. Once it was finished she went to the balcony and sang happily about her new lesson.

SAKURA  
The internet is really really great  
LEE

All of a sudden she was confused. Why did she hear lee's voice?

For porn  
SAKURA  
I ve got a fast connection so i don t have to wait  
LEE  
For porn  
SAKURA  
Huh?  
There's always some new site,  
LEE  
For porn!

SAKURA

I browse all day and night  
LEEFor porn!  
SAKURA  
It's like i m surfing at the speed of light  
LEEFor porn!  
SAKURA  
Trekkie!

Sakura turns around and sees lee on the balcony right next to her. She is appalled about his obsession with porn. And now he was messing up her song because of it.

LEEThe internet is for porn  
SAKURA  
Trekkie!LEE

The internet is for porn,  
SAKURA  
What are you doing!?  
LEE  
Why you think the net was born?  
Porn porn porn

SAKURA  
Treee kkie!  
SAKURA  
Oh hello kate monster  
SAKURA  
You are ruining my song  
LEE  
Oh me sorry, me no mean to  
SAKURA  
Well if you wouldnt mind please being quiet for a minute so i can finish?  
LEE  
Me no talkie  
SAKURA  
Good

Then she continued her song. Only for lee to keep interrupting.

I m glad we have this new technology  
TLEE  
For porn  
SAKURA  
Which gives us untold opportunity  
LEE

For por oops, sorry  
SAKURA  
Right from you own desktop  
LEE  
For ---  
sakura shoots the male demon a death glare.

SAKURA  
You can research browse and shop  
Until you ve had enough and your ready to stop  
LEE

FOR PORN!!

Trekkie!  
LEE  
The internet is for porn!  
SAKURA  
Noooo  
LEEThe internet if for porn!  
SAKURA

Trekkie  
LEE  
Me up all night honking me horn to porn, porn, porn!

SAKURA  
That s gross you re a pervert  
LEE  
Ah, sticks and stones Kate monster  
SAKURA  
NO really, you're a pervert  
Normal people don t sit at home and look  
At porn on the internet  
LEE

Ohhhh?  
KATE  
What?!  
SAKURA  
You have no idea  
Ready normal people?

NORMAL PEOPLE  
Ready--- ready ----ready

Then after that Naruto, Shikamaru, Kakashi and Sasuke all are looking out of the window and they cut into the song. At this point sakura is in utter disbelief.

LEE

Let me hear it!

LEE AND GUYS  
The internet is for porn!  
SASUKE  
Sorry kate  
LEE AND GUYS  
The internet is for porn!  
SAKUKE

I masturbate!  
LEE AND GUYS  
All these guys unzip their flies  
For porn, porn, porn!

SAKURA  
The internet is not for porn!!

LEE AND GUYS  
PORN!, PORN, P---

SAKURA

HOLD ON A SECOND!

Now i know for a fact that you, Rob, check your portfolio and trade stocks online

SHIKAMARU  
That s correct.

SAKURA  
And Brian, you buy things on

NARUTO  
Sure!

SAKURA  
And Gary, you keep selling your possesions on Ebay

KAKASHI  
Yes I do!

SAKURA

And Princeton, you sent me that sweet online birthday card

SASUKE

True!

LEE

Oh, but Kate-  
What you think he do . . .after? hmm?

The other guys giggle and Sasuke realizes that his private life is out in the open. He finally admits the truth.

SASUKE  
. .yeah

SAKURA

EEEWWWWW!  
LEEAND GUYS  
The internet is for porn!  
KATE  
Gross!  
LEE AND GUYS  
The internet is for porn!  
SAKURA

I hate porn  
LEE AND GUYS  
Grab your dick and double click  
SAKURA

I hate you men!  
LEE AND GUYS  
For porn, porn, porn!  
(harmonizing) porn, porn, porn, porn  
SAKURA  
I m leaving!  
LEE AND GUYS  
Porn, porn, porn, porn  
porn, porn, porn, porn  
SAKURA

I hate the internet!  
TREKKIE AND GUYS  
Porn, porn, porn, porn

LEE  
The internet is for

LEE AND SOME  
The internet is for

LEE AND ALL  
The internet is for PORN!

LEE  
YEAH!

Sakura was livid about how perverted men could possibly be. She slammed the door and went back to bed.

_Stupid guys she thought._

Chapter 4 end.

Well, there it was, I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. Hope you all liked it. Tell me honestly what you thought and I'll see you next week. Bye.


	5. Everyone's a little bit racist

Here is chapter 5 of avenue N. The song for this chapter is "everyone's a little bit racist". Most of this chapter will deal with Sasuke and Sakura; Separate and together. Enjoy.

All credit goes to Kishimoto and whoever created avenue q.

**VERY IMPORTANT: I DO NOT ADVOCATE RACISM, HOMOPHOBIA OR ANY KIND OF INTOLERANCE. PLUS IF IT LOOKS LIKE I CHANGED SOME OF THE CHARACTER'S NATIONALITIES I DID NOT. IT WAS ALL PART OF THE SONG AND THE STORY! **

Chapter 5

Everyone's a little bit racist.

It had already been over six months since the Lee incident and almost a year since Sasuke moved into the neighborhood known as avenue N and it seemed like things weren't looking good for him with Sakura. After finding out about his secret porn obsession, she started to think that maybe he was a lot like lee. This of course he wasn't it was just something that came up at the worng time.

Since that incident, the two of them have barely spoken to each other. He wondered how he would be able to patch things up with the woman he sort of liked. One day he went to see her in hopes of maybe getting her to change her mind about him and about men in general. But he had no idea how to do that so he first stopped at naruto and ten-ten's house. Maybe one of them had some suggestions for him.

Lucky for him he didn't have to go too far. He saw Sakura on her way home from work and decided that that was the time to straighten things out. He got his composure and prepared himself for the worst.

"Hello, Sakura." He said shakingly. He knew that she would either tell him to go away, walk away with out a response or just slap him in the face. Either way it would be a long road if they were going to make up.

"What do you want?" she asked coldly. It looked like it really was going to take a miracle.

"I want to… Apologize for the other day. Just because I look at things like that doesn't mean that I'm a pervert or anything like that. I was only telling the honest truth and"

"It's Okay, Sasuke." She responded finally. Just wanting to stop his senseless rambling. She would have to forgive him at some point or another.

A relieved raven haired man finally decided to clear the air about something else, Hoping that she wouldn't be offended by it.

They were sitting at the stoop of the apartment building when Sasuke finally decided to bring up his concerns.

* * *

SASUKE:  
Say, Kate, can I ask you a question?

SAKURA:  
Sure!

SASUKE:  
Well, you know Trekkie Monster upstairs?

SAKURA:  
Uh huh.

SASUKE:  
Well, he's Trekkie Monster, and you're Kate Monster.

SAKURA:  
Right.

SAKURA:  
You're both Monsters.

SAKURA:  
Yeah.

SASUKE:  
Are you two related?

SAKURA:  
What?! Princeton, I'm surprised at you! I find that racist!

SASUKE:  
Oh, well, I'm sorry! I was just asking!

SAKURA:  
Well, it's a touchy subject.  
No, not all Monsters are related.  
What are you trying say, huh?  
That we all look the same to you?  
Huh, huh, huh?

SASUKE:  
No, no, no, not at all. I'm sorry,  
I guess that was a little racist.

SAKURA:  
I should say so. You should be much more  
careful when you're talking about the  
sensitive subject of race.

SASUKE:  
Well, look who's talking!

SAKURA:  
What do you mean?

SASUKE:  
What about that special Monster School you told me about?

SAKURA:  
What about it?

SASUKE:  
Could someone like me go there?

SAKURA:  
No, we don't want people like you-

SASUKE:  
You see?!

You're a little bit racist.

SAKURA:  
Well, you're a little bit too.

SASUKE:  
I guess we're both a little bit racist.

SAKURA:  
Admitting it is not an easy thing to do...

SASUKE:  
But I guess it's true.

SAKURA:  
Between me and you,  
I think

Both:  
Everyone's a little bit racist  
Sometimes.  
Doesn't mean we go  
Around committing hate crimes.  
Look around and you will find  
No one's really color blind.  
Maybe it's a fact  
We all should face  
Everyone makes judgments  
Based on race.

That really was a fact. Even in the seemingly non-prejudice neighborhood of avenue n there have always been racist thoughts. Even though not too many people were brave enough, some even too ashamed to admit it. But there was some racists judgments in their minds. When it came to white,black, asian, even demons. There was always a little bit of racism.

SASUKE:  
Now not big judgments, like who to hire  
or who to buy a newspaper from -

SAKURA:  
No!

SASUKE:  
No, just little judgments like thinking that Mexican  
busboys should learn to speak goddamn English!

SAKURA:  
Right!

Both:  
Everyone's a little bit racist  
Today.  
So, everyone's a little bit racist  
Okay!  
Ethinic jokes might be uncouth,  
But you laugh because  
They're based on truth.  
Don't take them as  
Personal attacks.  
Everyone enjoys them -  
So relax!

SASUKE:  
All right, stop me if you've heard this one.

SAKURA:  
Okay!

SASUKE:  
There's a plan going down and there's only  
one paracute. And there's a rabbi, a priest...

SAKURA:  
And a black guy!

* * *

Suddenly Kakashi heard them and decided to hear what they were talking about. He would be surprised to find out the answer.

KAKASHI:  
Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Kate?

SAKURA:  
Uh...

KAKASHI:  
You were telling a black joke!

SASUKE:  
Well, sure, Gary, but lots of people tell black jokes.

KAKASHI:  
I don't.

SASUKE:  
Well, of course you don't - you're black!  
But I bet you tell Polack jokes, right?

KAKASHI:  
Well, sure I do. Those stupid Polacks!

SASUKE:  
Now, don't you think that's a little racist?

KAKASHI:  
Well, damn, I guess you're right.

SAKURA:  
You're a little bit racist.

KAKASHI:  
Well, you're a little bit too.

SASUKE:  
We're all a little bit racist.

KAKASHI:  
I think that I would  
Have to agree with you.

SASUKE/SAKURA:  
We're glad you do.

KAKASHI:

It's sad but true!  
Everyone's a little bit racist -

All right!

SAKURA:  
All right!

SASUKE:  
All right!

KAKASHI:  
All right!  
Bigotry has never been  
Exclusively white

All:  
If we all could just admit  
That we are racist a little bit,  
Even though we all know  
That it's wrong,  
Maybe it would help us  
Get along.

SASUKE:  
Oh, Christ do I feel good.

KAKASHI:  
Now there was a fine upstanding black man!

SASUKE:  
Who?

KAKASHI:  
Jesus Christ.

SAKURA:  
But, Gary, Jesus was white.

KAKASHI:  
No, Jesus was black.

SAKURA  
No, Jesus was white.

KAKASHI:  
No, I'm pretty sure that Jesus was black-

SASUKE:  
Guys, guys...Jesus was Jewish!

* * *

Then Naruto hears his neighbors talking about something. He went to see what it was; he would be surprised to find out what it was.

NARUTO:  
Hey guys, what are you laughing about?

KAKASHI:  
Racism!

KAKASHI:  
Cool.

As soon as he was about to leave he saw that Ten ten was running after him with a bag of garbage. He knew that he would be in trouble with his new wife. They got married about three months after Sakura's birthday and were still adjusting to being married in the first place. Naruto of cours had to take out all of the garbage.

* * *

TENTEN:  
BRIAN! Come back here!  
You take out lecycuraburs!

SASUKE:  
What's that mean?

NARUTO:  
Um, recyclables.

He then heard Sasuke, Sakura and Kakashi laughing. That made him seriously mad.

Hey, don't laugh at her!  
How many languages do you speak?

After that offensive action. His friends finally apologized in their own way but in between the lines were somewhat of an apology.

SAKURA:  
Oh, come off it, Brian!  
Everyone's a little bit racist.

NARUTO:  
I'm not!

SASUKE:  
Oh no?

NARUTO:  
Nope!

How many Oriental wives  
Have you got?

TENTEN:  
What? Brian!

SASUKE:  
Brian, buddy, where you been?  
The term is Asian-American!

TENTEN:  
I know you are no  
Intending to be  
But calling me Oriental -  
Offensive to me!

NARUTO:  
I'm sorry, honey, I love you.

TENTEN:  
And I love you.

NARUTO:  
But you're racist, too.

TENTEN:  
Yes, I know.  
The Jews have all  
The money  
And the whites have all  
The power.  
And I'm always in taxi-cab  
With driver who no shower!

SASUKE:  
Me too!

SAKURA:  
Me too!

KAKASHI:  
I can't even get a taxi!

All:  
Everyone's a little bit racist  
It's true.  
But everyone is just about  
As racist as you!  
If we all could just admit  
That we are racist a little bit,  
And everyone stopped being  
So PC  
Maybe we could live in -  
Harmony!

TENTEN:  
Evlyone's a ritter bit lacist!

* * *

The group was all in agreement, everyone _is_ a little bit racist. Whether it dealt with race or even species, it may not be intentional but sometimes they did make some rude slightly racist remarks about other people. Then they all went to get some pizza where the whole racism conversation continued.

"Would you believe that some of the kids in my class think that demon's eat people?" Sakura said jokingly. She knew that some of the kids thought that because they never met demons before. Some were taught that by their racist parents.

"that is nothing! How about people who say that Korean people have nuclear weapons in their houses?" Ten-ten said.

Then Sasuke stepped in another stereotype that had nothing to do with race but was still existent in the world's minds.

"I know that there are some Christians who think that gay people are pedophiles." He said.

"now that is kinda crazy!" said naruto.

Then Sasuke and Naruto saw their boss sitting across the table. They knew that they were in for a surprise.

"What are you all laughing about?" Gaara asked.

"Racism." Sasuke said simply.

"Well what about it?" he said.

"We kinda moved on from racism to gay people and religion." Kakashi said. "is it true that all gay people are atheists?"

"I don't believe You!" gaara shouted angrily. He never heard such offensive language spoken by anyone like that. Especially when it seemed like it was being directly aimed at him.

"How can you say something like that?! I'm an atheist but I'm straight! And by the way, gay people do not molest children. Uzumaki, Uchiha, starting tomorrow you're both on probation!" he said.

"Come on, boss!" Naruto said. "Aren't you a little racist, too?"

"I AM NOT!" the red haired man said. But after a few moments he realized that he had some racist beliefs and some about religion and sexuality.

"But then again, I can't stand seeing all of those arabs running around here." Then the rest of the gang caught him in his comment. They knew that even someone like him was a little bit racist.

"see, you are a little racist." Kakashi said.

"Maybe I am. But we all know that all of those things are false. Right?"

"Right!" they all agreed.

Chapter 5 end.

And yet another fun chapter. Chapter 6 will be up next week. Ciao.


	6. If You Were Gay

* * *

Here is chapter6 of avenue n. this will most definitely be a short one. Well, anyway, Choji comes home and starts to wonder if perhaps his roommate was…gay.

Chapter 6

If you were gay…

Choji was on his way home for work and he was approached by a nice looking young man. This guy seemed friendly enough, maybe even too friendly.

"Oh, Hi there!" the chubby man greeted. Then the guys started talking and smiling at each other and then it didn't take long for Choji to figure out that this man wasn't like other men. No, he liked other men. He politely told the other man off.

"Umm…I'm flattered you think of me that way, but…I'm not gay, sorry."

Then Choji spent the rest of the train ride wondering if perhaps Shikamaru may have been gay. He had seen signs of It over the weeks but didn't want to jump to conclusions.

* * *

One afternoon Shikamaru was sitting on the couch at home all by his lonesome. All he wanted was to enjoy a nice quiet afternoon alone with his book. No roommates to bother him or annoying neighbors to pester him. He could now sit back, relax and enjoy the rest of his afternoon. Or so he thought.

ROD  
Aah, an afternoon alone with  
my favorite book, "Broadway  
Musicals of the 1940s."  
No roommate to bother me.  
How could it get any better than this?

That all changed after his Roommate busted into the door and greeted the now annoyed scholar.

NICKY  
Oh,hi Rod!

ROD  
Hi Nicky.

NICKY  
Hey Rod, you'll never  
Guess what happened to  
Me on the subway this morning.  
This guy was smiling at me and talking to me

ROD  
That's very interesting.

NICKY  
He was being real friendly,  
And I think he was coming on to me.  
I think he might've thought I was gay!

The other man gave Choji a strange defensive look after hearing that. He knew that Choji sometimes told him things that he didn't need to hear but he never thought it would be about some gay guy.

ROD  
Ahem, so, uh, why are you telling me this?  
Why should I care?  
I don't care.  
What did you have for lunch today?

NICKY  
Oh, you don't have to get  
All defensive about it, Rod...

ROD  
I'm NOT getting defensive!  
What do I care about some gay guy you met, okay?  
I'm trying to read.

Shikamaru tried to finish his book only to be interrupted by his chubby roommate. It seemed like he would never hear the end of this.

NICKY  
Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, Rod.  
I just think it's something we should be able to talk about.

ROD  
I don't want to talk about it,  
Nicky! This conversation is over!!!

NICKY  
Yeah, but...

ROD  
OVER!!!

* * *

At first it looked like the conversation really was over from the sudden silence. But little did Shikamaru realize, Silence was usually the first sign of something undeniably spontaneous.

It may have appeared that Choji had given up. But there was no way he would back down that easily. Shikamaru knew that and braced himself for what was coming.

NICKY  
Well, okay, but just so you know  
IF YOU WERE GAY  
THAT'D BE OKAY.  
I MEAN 'CAUSE, HEY,  
I'D LIKE YOU ANYWAY.  
BECAUSE YOU SEE,  
IF IT WERE ME,  
I WOULD FEEL FREE  
TO SAY THAT I WAS GAY  
(BUT I'M NOT GAY.)

ROD  
Nicky, please!  
I am trying to read....

Then he sees his roommate staring at him awkwardly.

What?!

NICKY  
IF YOU WERE QUEER

ROD  
Ah, Nicky!

NICKY  
I'D STILL BE HERE,

ROD  
Nicky, I'm trying to read this book.

NICKY  
YEAR AFTER YEAR

ROD  
Nicky!

NICKY  
BECAUSE YOU'RE DEAR  
TO ME,

ROD  
Argh!

NICKY  
AND I KNOW THAT YOU

ROD  
What?

NICKY  
WOULD ACCEPT ME TOO,

ROD  
I would?

NICKY  
IF I TOLD YOU TODAY,  
"HEY! GUESS WHAT,  
I'M GAY!"  
(BUT I'M NOT GAY.)  
I'M HAPPY  
JUST BEING WITH YOU.

ROD  
High Button Shoes, Pal Joey...

NICKY  
SO WHAT SHOULD IT  
MATTER TO ME  
WHAT YOU DO IN BED  
WITH GUYS?

ROD  
Nicky, that's GROSS!

NICKY  
No it's not!  
IF YOU WERE GAY  
I'D SHOUT HOORAY!

ROD  
I am not listening!

NICKY  
AND HERE I'D STAY,

ROD  
La la la la la!

NICKY  
BUT I WOULDN'T GET  
IN YOUR WAY.

ROD  
Aaaah!

NICKY  
YOU CAN COUNT ON ME  
TO ALWAYS BE  
BESIDE YOU EVERY DAY,  
TO TELL YOU IT'S OKAY,  
YOU WERE JUST BORN  
THAT WAY,  
AND, AS THEY SAY,  
IT'S IN YOUR DNA,  
YOU'RE GAY!

ROD  
BUT I'M NOT GAY!

NICKY  
If you were gay.

ROD  
Argh!

* * *

When it was all over, Shikamaru decided to finally come clean if only to get the annoying man off of his back. He knew that if he told him this secret he would never be able to live it down. But better him than some homophobe he thought.

"Cho, if I told you I _was_ gay, you wouldn't tell anyone, right?" he asked.

"NO, of course not!" Choji said. "You know I'd never tell anyone that."

Then the scholar finally confessed. Hoping that he could trust his friend.

"Well, then yeah, I am gay. But you have to promise that you won't tell anyone."

"I promise." Choji said. And they pinky swore that he would never tell.

Shikamaru then went back to reading his book. As annoying as choji was he knew that there was no way that he would betray him. At least he hoped not.

Yeah this chapter is pretty much over. I said that it would be short and well it was. Oh, and to anyone who has ever made a pinky swear I hope none of you broke it. As childish as it sounds that is very serious. You break a pinky swear and no one will ever trust you. So take my advice keep your pinky swears. Chapter 7 should be up soon.


	7. There's life outside your apartment

Here is chapter 7 of avenue N. the song for this one is "there's life outside your apartment"

I don't own Naruto or the Avenue q songs. I am just a fan.

Chapter 7

There's life outside your apartment.

Recently Sasuke hasn't had much of an outside life since the whole racism incident. In fact, besides going to work, he hardly goes out at all. The uchiha has yet to ask his dream girl out on a date. And he was almost robbed on his way home just a few months ago. At first it didn't seem like much. Everyone thought that he was just a little paranoid about almost being robbed. It was normal for someone like him. But then after 2 months of not seeing their friend, Naruto, Ten-ten, Choji, Kakashi, ,Ino and Lee all thought they needed to do something about his reclusive behavior.

One day Sasuke was at home reading one of his favorite books as he always did when he was at home at night. Then he heard a knock on the door. He wondered why in the world someone would be visiting him at that hour. But being that he wanted to be alone for the night, the raven haired man answered the door to hopefully politely tell them off.

When he opened the door, he saw that it was a few of his neighbors that he hasn't seen in a few weeks.

"Naruto, Choji what are you doing here?" Sasuke asked. They stood at the door and looked at the confused Uchiha. He gestered his friends to come in and they all sat down and wanted to find out what was going on with the man.

"Hey, Sasuke." Choji said. "What's been going on with you lately?" he was silent for the majority of the time. He was just sitting there reading his book. No one knew what was going on. They thought that maybe he was sick of something but it turns out there was more to his changed than met the eye.

"I'm fine." He said. "I'm just enjoying my day off." At first he thought the others were going to leave because of his calm attitude. But something about their determination to get him to talk was starting to annoy him.

"I know what you guys are trying to do and I won't be going out anytime soon." He snapped.

"Come on." Naruto said. "There's more to life than just sitting here and reading your book." Then the blond man took his book and threw it out the window.

* * *

They thought about away to get him outside. They were going to see that he would be out there no matter what.

Brian:  
All right. Get off your ass and stop worrying!  
Everyone s getting together to mess around the city today.

Then Naruto pulled on the other man's arm and then he and choji finally got him out of his chair. Only for him to hear a ridiculous tune.

Princeton:  
Have fun!

Brian:  
When I say everyone, that includes you!

There is life outside your apartment.  
I know it s hard to conceive.  
But there s life outside your apartment.  
And you re only gonna see it if you leave.

There is cool shit to do,  
But it can t come to you,  
And who knows, dude  
You might even score!

There is life outside your apartment.  
But you gotta open the door!

Princeton:  
No, thanks, I m staying in!

Brian:  
Don t tell me I gotta force you.

Princeton:  
Sorry!

Brian:  
All right, everyone! He s resisting!

All but Princeton:  
There is life outside...  
There is life outside...  
There is life outside...  
There is life outside your apartment!  
There s a pigeon  
Squashed on the street.

Christmas Eve:  
Ew.

Brian:  
There s a girl passing by

Nicky:  
No I think it s a guy

All but Princeton:  
And a homeless man  
Who only wants to  
Buy something to eat!

Sorry, can t help you.

We could go to the zoo!

Trekkie Monster:  
Pick up girls at NYU!

Brian:  
We could sit in the park smoking pot!

Christmas Eve:  
Or not.

All but Princeton:  
There is life outside your apartment.

Princeton:  
Well, I guess I ll give it a shot.

All:  
There is life outside your apartment.  
I know -  
There is life outside your apartment.  
when Sasuke was finally out of the apartment and walking through the streets with his friends. He saw some rather interesting things that he hasn't seen in a few weeks.  
Voice #1:  
I m gonna jump!

All:  
Don t do it!

Voice #1:  
Okay.

All:  
There is cool shit to do  
But it can t come to you  
So come on -

Voice #2:  
Get out of the way asshole!

Princeton:  
Fuck you!

All:  
There is life outside your apartment.  
Oh, you never know  
What s around the bend.  
You could win the lotto  
Or make a friend...

Guys:  
Take her home to see your apartment!

Lucy:  
Do you wanna feel special?  
I can see that you do.  
Well, I can make you feel  
Special.  
If you let me feel you.

Guys:  
She ll feel you!

Lucy:  
Where s your pad?

Princeton:  
Not too far.

Guys:  
We could call you a car.

Princeton:  
We ll be fine, thank you! See ya!  
Christmas Eve:  
Hope you don t get gonorrhea!

All:  
There is life outside your apartment.

Princeton/Lucy:  
But now it s time to go home.

All:  
There is life outside your apartment.

Trekkie Monster:  
Me going home now.

Princeton/Lucy:  
It s time to go home!

Trekkie Monster:  
That s where me gonna go!

Lucy:  
I can make you feel special

Trekkie Monster:  
That s where me gonna go!

All:  
There is life outside your apartment.

Trekkie Monster:  
Me going home now,  
That s where me gonna go!

Princeton/Lucy:  
But now it s time to go home

Trekkie Monster:  
For porn!

* * *

After a wild and crazy day around town. Sasuke decided that maybe he would go out just a bit more. Not everyday, maybe on weekends.

Chapter 7 end.


End file.
